(Dear hetero boy-friends: this post isn’t for you.)

Ok, what hetero girl doesn’t enjoy cute boys?
My daily fix (considering I work in an office with 50 middle aged women in the centre of the boringest neighbourhood for boystalking… )
Is this.

But lately? What’s the deal cuteboys? The caliber has definitely declined in recent weeks. I’m kind of over the ugly-is-the-new-hot thing. Everyone knows beard is the new black. Hello. I wouldn’t touch a boy without a beard with a 10 foot poll lately. (Ok, Stephen Malkmus, you get a pass. But once you leave those babies and that wife of yours for me, you are leaving that 3-blader behind.)

In other wildly important news, here’s the top 3 consuming me today:

1. Coachella ultimate wishlist: Beirut, Sufjan Stevens, Bowie, or/ Paul McCartney, The Smiths (who, rumour has it, would come with RADIOHEAD who have offered to play for free if Smiths confirm), TV on the Radio, Fleet Foxes, The National (if they have some new material), Kings of Leon, Grizzly Bear, Raveonettes and ummm….let’s throw in a Pavement reunion for good measure.

2. I am officially, undeniably, obsessed with the grosteque. i.e. Chuck Palahniuk. You are so gross and so enthralling. I want to do bad things.

3. Gang Gang Dance. Everyone who knows anything has been talking about this silly weirdo band lately. And so I finally broke down and dove in as of yesterday. And as of today: YES. I should have listened earlier….GGD. I like you. A lot.

2009: Predictions. Decisions. Ramblings*

*not resolutions.

Predictions:
Amy Winehouse dies.
Toronto Star dies.
Recession defines fashion trend: the return of grunge. It’s practically already here anyway. We’re just going to strip back the sequins.
Is tranny-disco-dance-synth over in 2009? I think it might be. Sorry Hercules. You had a good run. The Foxes are taking over.

(how hot is s/he though? seriously. legs for days.)

Decisions:
Improve posture. Stop obsessing over what/who consumed you in 2008. Ski. Swim. Be nicer. Be craftier. New York. Argentina.

Go on the Christian Bale Machinist diet of “water, apples, whisky and cigarettes” after watching Cate Blanchett for 3 hours on the big screen one particular new year’s day. Oh, and I’ll probably need skin graphs too. She is fucking flawless.

Upon completion of Christian Bale diet, fly to Brooklyn and propose to Wes Anderson already*.

*ok, this might not happen.

Ramblings:
January 2: I am sick of nazi-themed 2009 already. Stop whoring genocide for an Oscar already, Hollywood.
2009: New York. Berlin. Brazil. I am too young and too old for the mediocrity that I have been putting out this year. I own nothing, owe nothing (well, not emotionally anyway) and should fear nothing about moving up. And on.
Toronto: Is it over? Why, when I own little more than a bed and a few thousand scarves have I become provincial? I have become a city-body (re: homebody tied to a city)…..

Don't call it a cliché

In order of ‘most played’ on my iPod.
1. Cut Copy – In Ghost Colors (what the hell did I dance to before this?)
2. Bon Iver – For Emma, forever ago (so sweet I could almost cry. Almost.)
3. Fleet Foxes – Sun Giant EP/s/t (so obvious. But so true. I gave this album to my dad for Christmakkah)
4. TV on the Radio – Dear, Science (how did I ever forget about these geniuses?)
5. The Dodos –Visitor (text received after Dodos weeknight show in October when I, the responsible 9-5er left promptly after the last song “we are drinking with the Dodos. You suck.” Thanks friends.)
6. Raveonettes – Lust lust lust (I would, 100%, become a lesbian to get to hear Sharin Foo’s voice every day)
7. Sigur Ros – Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust (no one has any idea what they are saying and I still love this. What did I fall asleep to before this? Oh right, their last album.)
8. Lykke Li – Youth Novels (dear Sweden, how does such great music and so many hot chicks come out of such a boring country? Shhh. I love you.)
9. Portishead – Third (probably prompted by an outstanding, emotional Coachella set)
10. Deerhunter – Microcastle/Weird Era cont. (even if the album cover makes me cringe.)

Almost made it: Los Campinsinos – Hold on now, youngster (I think my days of seeing them for free at the Horseshoe are over.)

Top 08 of 08: best of lists are so passe

I think some of these came out before 2008? But I saw them this year and I make the rules.

Best films:
The Dark Knight (oh shut it. it was really good.)
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Heima: Sigur Ros
In Bruges
Let the Right One In
Man on Wire
Slumdog Millionaire
(and I didn’t see every movie so I know I’m missing additional ‘bests’ but seriously, who has time for that?)

Best musical performances of 2008:
1. Coachella. Start to finish. – Palm Desert, CA – April 25-27, 2008
Highlights: Cut Copy “This is for our friends, the Midnight Juggernauts” The National, Erol Alkan, Portishead, Prince covering Radiohead, Dan Deacon “SAFETY FIRRRRST”, Hot Chip “He doesn’t even know”
Ohbijou and Basia Bulat – Lee’s Palace – March 29, 2008
My Bloody Valentine – Kool Haus – September 25, 2008
Noah and the Whale - Horseshoe Tavern – September 23, 2008
Beck/MGMT – Sound Academy – October 5, 2008
James Murphy/Pat Mahoney “Special Disco Version” – Wrongbar – August 16, 2008
The Acorn/Rural Alberta Advantage – November 27, 2008
Cut Copy – Sound Academy – September 19, 2008

So um, like, happy new year. best of luck in 2009.
2009?
Fuck I’m old.

Nova Scotia top 3:

the ocean and clean air infused with salt wipes away all of the things you thought you didn't care enough about to stay

imagine if? sailing and sunkissed skin and scenes from mushaboom and a beach wedding and animals and quiet....

then you walk into the gas station for gum and three backwoods dudes stop talking. stare. one loudly proclaims "the hot ones all come out of the woodwork at christmas"

you hear. they know you hear. one grins. no front teeth.

surely I do not deserve the title but I close my eyes and all I can think is why I know what they say is true.

Happiness leads to mania leads to anxiety

So happy I feel manic.

No sleep, vacation, surprises, parties, cute dresses…oh my!

A booked flight to surfer’s paradise with David Bowie*

And a date with the leather skirt tonight, snowstorm or not, it’s on.

*attendance unconfirmed

I don’t believe in horoscopes.

But for the sake of the smirk the this gave me,

Libra:
Not everyone can live up to your exacting standards.
Not everyone can be so attractive and balanced.
With that thought in mind, make allowances today for a friend or a colleague who in some way or other fails to measure up.
You’re a hard act to follow.

It was in the Globe and Mail so it has true, right?

Ha.

The best cure for the winter debbie downers:

1. Jason Collett basement Revue. You will eat delicious snacks prepared with wit and care by the rather dapper Mr. Clive and Mr. Collett. It will snow. It always does on revue nights. You will smile like crazy for Brownie Hawkeye and get a bit chaflempted when Mr. Elkas, Great Lake Swimmers, Collett and co. spill off the stage and sing in unison the sweest powerfolk ballad you almost forgot about.

2. Plan the sweetest surpise you can remember having.

3. Make yourself laugh.

Whatever it was, or is, that makes you a negative nancy this week:
Just.
Stop.
Put on music that you think you don’t want to hear, put away that sad bastard mix and come over.
We’ll drink hot toddies and giggle about that time he tried to bike me home or that time I lied and said I was running the next day. And there’s more where that came from.

bikes, schmikes.

correction: Wes anderson is still Wes Anderson

Monday self-involved top 5:

1.My nu[west] gem: a silver lamé, 1986 low cut wrap dress with ruffles and cuffs is probably going to be a NYE uniform for the next 10 years. (or until Balenciaga offers a non-profit discount)
2.Is fur ok now? Vintage fur? Cause then it’s recycled and I didn’t commission the massacre…Well I hope it’s ok cause I am so in love I want to sleep in my new vintage Marilyn fur-lined masterpiece coat.
3.My hair IS really short. I’m ok. You liked it. So really. I’m ok. *deep breaths*
4.Sex and the City was never about sex. Young people fucking wasn’t really about fucking. Does it ever surprise you that the racy stuff never lives up to the hype*
5.Tall boys who ride bikes and play music and wear glasses are the new Wes Anderson *again, deep breaths*

*overheard during the screening:
M: Uggggh, why are they talking so much? Do people actually do that when they are banging?
K: No? But if there was no talking this would just be PQ 13 porno.
M: Riiiight. That would probably be better than this psycho-analytical relationship bullshit.
K: Seriously.